Shiloh’s Excellent Adventure I
November 18, 2022
My whole world turned upside down today, in a good way, I hope.
I’m Shiloh, a two-month-old Labrador Retriever. I was born at Asklar Kennels kennel on a farm. My four-legged mom is a relatively small Red Labrador Retriever. My father is a vast Yellow Labrador Retriever.
My Kennel parents have yet to determine what size or colour I will be. Me? I know I will be perfect. My theory is, “Whatever will be, will be.”
You will note that I am no ordinary puppy; I was born before an Apple keyboard and will be a voracious writer for a Lab. I will tell you about my excellent adventures – all the good, the bad, and the ugly.” You will see that I have a droll sense of humour. The way I look at it, a droll is better than a drool. (see?)
My new adoptive parents, whom I met today, already think I’m perfect.
As far as my new parents are concerned, I will have a lot of work to do to break them in. Mom seems prepared and has a lot of knowledge; Dad, on the other hand, will be a big project. He uses the wrong words, commands, tone, and things I haven’t even thought of yet.
November 28, 2022 ~ New Home
The new parents came today and gave the Kennel Parents money. I like this diary format and will do my best to create a story of the learning curve; I can't wait to see how long it will take a new dad to understand his commands. Funny thing, I know he's giving the wrong command right away. Every time he says something bad, the new mom looks at the sky, shakes her head, and corrects him.
By the way, these commands are supposed to make me do one thing or another - - they don't make me do anything.
December 9, 2022 ~ SHILOH'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURES
I've decided to name this series "Shiloh’s Excellent Adventure." It will be about life from my point of view. My new mom is called Donna, and my new dad is Naguib. They are well on their way with the training. That tells me just how difficult a task I will have.
We live on a street called Pyramid Cres; I find what Dad says funny. He tells people he is the only Egyptian that has ever lived "ON" a Pyramid; all the others were dead inside them.
I’ve started to sleep close to both to soften them so they will do whatever I want. The sweet spot is under the lazy boy recliner’s footrest. While I was under Dad’s chair, I noticed one of my toys farther in - under the seat part. I did the natural thing to do and went to get it. Imagine my surprise when Dad stood up and trapped me under the seat. He looked for me in the house, and even though I called him over, he still couldn’t find me. Thankfully, he eventually figured it out and released me.
I’ve also been working hard on changing Dad’s sedentary lifestyle. For some reason, Mom and Dad make us wait for my food for ten minutes. They insist on making my excellent dry food wet and soggy. As a result, I can now eat my food in less than a minute. To exercise Dad, I pick up my bowl and run throughout the house, making him chase me. It’s so much fun watching him chase me with his camera.
December 17, 2022 ~ Training Days
Today was a fantastic day of firsts. Dad took me out ten times. I'm trying to get him to understand who controls the leash. He thinks he is, but I'm deciding where we're going.
A bunch of bells hang on the door's doorknob to the front yard. Dad smacks the bell before we go out. He then yells potty on our way out. I don't know why he does that when I'm the one going potty - tonight, I beat him to the bells twice. Thankfully, he didn't ding.
Speaking of tinkle, Dad was getting his coat on when I was in a hurry. I couldn't hold it anymore and did my deed just behind where he stood. This time, instead of me stepping in it by accident, it was Dad's turn. Of course, it wasn't a light step but a full-fledged step in; as a bonus, his pants were hanging down, and he dipped them in, too. At least he was a good sport about it.
But there was some excellent news today. I discovered that I could get up on the couches and chairs if I ran and jumped simultaneously. That opened up a whole new world of things I could reach, such as plants, tabletops, gifts, food and chewy remote controls. Please stay tuned for the list of things I can check off my life list.
Finally, I had my first portrait with Dad. That was when we went on my first walk with Mom and Dad. By the way, Mom is a crummy photographer. Thankfully, she's a fantastic painter and a great house boss.
December 21 ~ Repudiating what the cat told you
Who would have ever thought it could ever happen on Facebook? The “Cat in the House “ hacked my Facebook account and told you I had missed a deadline. That’s fake news - the truth will set you free. I’m exploring other socially truthful sites; stay tuned. Here’s what happened.
My contract is to write a weekly column complete with images. My dad took it - he’s an ok photographer, but way better than Mom. They say the best cameraman is the one you have on a short leash. In all fairness, so much happened in my two weeks with my adoptive mom and dad. I felt that I owed you more and, as a result, posted several bonus columns to keep you in the loop.
The cat, whose nose is out of joint, took advantage of my dad’s phone being unlocked. She couldn’t resist spreading fake news—Foxy of her.
In any event, I’ve taken it upon myself to introduce Mom and Dad to their neighbours. They are so shy that they hardly get out. No one can pass me without stopping - cars and trucks stop by to admire me. People jog or walk their children, both types- two and four-legged. I take this opportunity to stall them long enough to break the ice for Mom and Dad to start a conversation.
Mom is aware that I’m fashion-conscious. To endear herself to me. She bought me a faux fur coat to wear during the cold weather. She was so cheap that she purchased one that was three sizes too big. She was hoping I would grow into it. For subsequent adoption, I will ask for their credit bureau report.
Finally, I’m in the process of making portrait NFTs. I’m pushing 4,500 going on sale for $999.00 Canadian. For our American friends, that means you get a 30% discount. There will be no handling charges or delivery fees.
Stay tuned for great news coming up next week.
Dec 24, 2022, ~ Mad, Mad World
I will try and sum up today in one word - crazy busy (I’ve always had problems keeping my sentences short)
We started the day at 2:30 AM when Dad woke me up. I didn’t even have to go this time and was sound asleep. I dreamed of a juicy steak, something I have yet to taste, but here it is fantastic. He needed to use the bathroom, and because he was wide awake, he decided I needed to keep him company. It was so cold and windy that I resorted to my fake pee act.
I can’t possibly go potty every time they take me out, so I do the next best thing - pretend to pee. Mom and Dad get so excited when I pee outside. They jump up and down and act silly. I’m just trying to make them happy, and if that’s what it takes, so be it. As a bonus, I get a treat to boot.
Back to early this morning - as much as I didn’t need to go at 2:30. I had to go so badly at 3:30 that I practically shook the crate gate off. Dad got up again. But he is so slow getting dressed that I nearly peed on the bed.  I’m sure you don’t need all the gory details. Dad was so excited that he reported every minute detail to Mom. She got excited, too and congratulated both of us.
Mom noticed that Emma wasn’t sleeping on the bed and started looking for her. I wasn’t allowed to help. They looked throughout the house. Dad checked inside all the closets and in all the bedrooms. He even checked the basement. After about an hour of frantically calling the stupid cat, Dad found her on top of a dining room chair and under the table. That was a new hiding place.
Dad woke me up one more time at 7:00 AM to give me my food and go grocery shopping for this feast that Mom had been planning forever. He said he picked up Turkey. This confused me because he calls me a Turkey sometimes. This was a different one.
Mom gave him a couple of mini projects when he got home - get some stuff from the fridge and keep me busy. She then started baking pumpkin pies, followed by apple pies. The kitchen smelled so good.
We then had a portrait session that could qualify as a torture session. Tara, Nadine and Dad ganged up on me so we could do Christmas shots. We got a picture of the cat.
Finally, we went to Aunt Paula Weese Montgomery and Uncle Glenn for dinner. Interestingly, Ari and his girls introduced us to a new candlelight ceremony honouring Chanukah and a song. It was awesome.
We’re back home now, and I’m exhausted. So, for your dear friends and followers, may you enjoy this festive season and may there be happy times to celebrate family. Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukah. It will be a zoo here tomorrow, and I have to restrict Dad’s playtime so he can help Mom.
Over and out. Please be safe out there.
