The Essence of Yvonne
Proud ~ Caring ~ Loving
Self-Reliant ~ Mindful ~ Thankful
Venice, Italy
My wife, Donna, introduced me to Yvonne in the summer of 1974. They met on the first day of high school and have been great friends ever since. By 1976, Donna and I were married, and every time we got together, we discussed the same basic subjects—family, health matters, old friends, dogs—and shared stories of life events since the previous visit.
The high school gang
Without needlessly going into details, she became a single mother of three children. The love shared within and outside their family is a testament to Yvonne’s approach to life. I can add many more words to her six above—joie de vivre, respectful, considerate, discerning, and astute, to name a few.
She was one of my first family members and friends to become a client when I changed careers and went into financial planning. Yvonne and I would have significant conversations about the stages of life's journey together. These conversations were valuable because being with Yvonne was a safe space to discuss issues such as fear, greed, longevity, and how our universe feels smaller and smaller as we age.
We discussed what each person considers enough. We understood that one person may need fifteen thousand dollars a month to live a comfortable retirement lifestyle, while another may be just as happy with three thousand.
We came prepared for the feeding of the Pigeons
She has the most fantastic appreciation for everything, an infectious trait and a joy to be around. It does not matter whether it is a creation of man’s or Mother Nature.
As time passed, we decided to include Yvonne in our trips, large and small. We went on a Safari to Tanzania, where I arranged for a balloon ride over the Serengeti. We drove down the Pacific Coast Highway from Seattle to Los Angeles, around the Olympic National Park and visited the Redwoods and Rain Forest. Since then, we have included Yvonne on many of our big trips, each special.
Yvonne is an easy companion, and we felt comfortable sharing the hotel room. The only exception is that I travelled with two ladies with differing opinions about their coffee brands. Yvonne’s is a Starbucks high-octane coffee, and Donna loves the McDonald’s brand. Since I am an early riser, I often wake up in the sun when travelling to explore photo opportunities. I would return to the hotel room with a custom coffee for each lady, thus having two happy ladies as they started their day.
Another reason I love it when Yvonne visits is because Donna goes out of her way to provide an exceptional guest experience. I know Yvonne is coming when I open the fridge and find cream for the coffee, fancy cheeses, special crackers, and bread.
We still have more trips, and Yvonne is welcome with us anywhere and anytime.
It was natural for me to insist on Yvonne doing her essence portrait. Meet Yvonne in her own words.
Looking back at your life, you come across many forks on the road. Which one made a significant impact on the rest of your life?
About 35 years ago, I graduated from the University of Western Ontario with a master’s degree in library and information science. The final semester of the program was during a highly stressful time in my life. I felt I could not continue to achieve the grades I wanted. I went to the Dean of the school, explained my situation, and was prepared to sign papers to withdraw from the program. The wise female Dean inquired if I was failing any courses, and I answered no. She sympathized with my situation but encouraged me to keep going, convincing me that whether my degree was attained with grades in the 60s or 90s, it would still be a master’s degree. I was to carry on and do my best, considering the circumstances. Four months later, I graduated, and not too long after, I secured a job as a librarian in public health. It was a remarkable career with an admirable employer that sustained my family and still affords me a good pension. My degree allowed me to compete for a job that genuinely changed my life successfully!
The woman who is afraid of heights. Conquers one more thing - standing on the glass floor of the Seattle Space Needle.
Afraid of heights and still goes ballooning!
What challenges have you overcome?
Loss. Loss can produce an enormous amount of mental suffering, whether it be from loss of love, loss of financial security, or loss of health. I was able to overcome my grief and sense of vulnerability due to the loss of marriage by looking inward and acknowledging it is solely my responsibility to create and live a fulfilling, happy life – no one else’s. It is easy to feel victimized by events that occur to us. With the help of professionals and friends, I recognized that I was a good person, able to focus my thoughts and actions on creating a life full of purpose and love for myself and those who depended on me at the time.
While I believe that no (wo)man is an island, we are all alone and must find our desire in life.
What hint would you have to share for the benefit of others?
I’ve learned that life is hard. Some people are burdened with more than their share.
Some people have advantages that can help them on their way; other people are given next to none. Some people seem to rise from the ashes; others fail to cope. Some people fall into despair; others lash out in anger. I try hard not to judge, believing we all start well. Undoubtedly simplistic, but my one gem – we’re all doing the best we can. Be kind.
