The Essence of Monique

Kind ~ Woman ~ Strong

Persevering ~ Stubborn ~ Risk-Taker

I’ve known Monique for her whole life. She is a cousin of mine, but in reality, she is almost like a sister.

We were amicable initially; my relationship was more with her mother, Mona, and her dad, Mounir, my uncle. He was Dad’s younger brother, and we had a fantastic bond. After all, he was the one who would take me to the ice cream parlour and buy me the vanilla shake when I was six and seven years old in Egypt.

During my teen years, while still in high school, I would go by train to Montreal and stay with them as a home base. Then, I would visit other cousins who were closer to my age. Monique was there as the youngest of the cousins, one who craved attention. Unfortunately, I didn’t give her much attention then, but we’ve sure caught up and made up for some of that by how close we’ve gotten.

She mentioned Cambridge—they lived on the way to our head office, and I used any excuse to visit her and her husband Larry. I first met Larry when I photographed their wedding in Edmonton. He and I became fast friends, while Monique and I started to bond. There are several stories that I can share about Monique, but three come to mind.

We decided to go to Barcelona and France on a trip together. She and I planned the trip, and I volunteered for Larry to be our chauffeur. It was a once-in-a-lifetime trip, and we had a blast. We travelled together and did things separately as well. It was so comfortable and fun. We had many memorable activities, such as the cooking class in the hills above Nice. It would be best if you asked her and her British GPS, who didn’t speak with the necessary French accent.

Kerba Reunion

A second significant ten-day event is when she and some cousins started a two-city Kerba reunion trip. It was like a ten-day party that no one wanted to leave. Thanks to that reunion, I engaged with other Kerbas for the first time. It was a tremendous success and a magical thing that came together over a Facebook chat. Thank you, Anna Maria and Monique, for that truly memorable ten days.

Mounir’s Funeral

But nothing will ever endear Monique to me, like the week I went to Edmonton for Monique's father Mounir’s funeral. She was the epitome of grace under fire, as her mother, Mona, had to be hospitalized during the funeral preparation and was released to attend the funeral. Monique was a rock! The week's most significant and burning image was her holding a phone to each ear, trying to negotiate some of the plans.

We’ve also had great times, and our entire family loves her and her family – we always feel welcome at their place or with her family. There is always room at the Inn. We will always manage. She’s a Kerba, and getting the last word in is a must; in this case, I’m letting her have the last word. (Until she responds to this ;-) Here are Monique’s answers to my essence questions.

AND NOW. For the rest of the story, meet Monque's journey, trials, and successes.

1) At some time, you reached a fork in the road. At that time, it didn’t feel like it, but looking back, you realize it was a big moment. One that changed your life. Describe yours.

We were expecting our second child and had recently moved back to Edmonton after living overseas for 16 months when my husband, Larry, was told that budgets for the international office of the engineering firm he worked for had to be cut. This meant he would be laid off unless willing to apply and move to their newly acquired branch office in Cambridge, Ontario. My employment contract had yet to be renewed. We faced an uncertain financial future with a growing family. A decision needed to be made. Do we move far from our parents, or do we go on unemployment and risk being unable to make ends meet? We chose to move. Being young and foolish, we didn’t realize the impact such a move would have on our lives. It seemed like another adventure. This adventure turned out to be quite challenging. But, due to not having our parents to turn to whenever things became difficult, we learned to be very independent. It also allowed me to make a career dream come true. I studied acting in Edmonton, but it wasn’t a booming location for that profession. I took the plunge and dove headfirst into Ontario's movie, television, and theatre scene.

What an incredible experience it was! I met fascinating people, pushed myself outside my comfort zone, and took risks. I learned a lot about who I was and what I could accomplish. My self-esteem and attitude towards life changed. My family and I also got to know our extended relatives living in Ontario better. New and old friendships were carved. After five years, we moved back to Alberta. Looking back, had we not chosen the Ontario option, I never would have had these life-changing experiences. I would not be the person that I am today.

2) What has been your biggest challenge, and how did you overcome it?

My biggest challenge has been my health. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia at 19. Not much was known about it back then. Over the years, I tried many drug treatments, joined support groups, and read everything that I could get my hands on. Nothing helped; all I found out was how debilitating this disease was that people couldn’t live their lives fully, often ending up in wheelchairs, not participating in daily activities, and staying home most of the time. This wasn't very pleasant to a young person, especially one with children. My mother, who was a diabetic, told me that only I could decide how this “life sentence” would affect my life. Only I could choose how to live my life. I took her words to heart. One’s mental outlook makes an enormous difference. I decided not to let Fibromyalgia stop me from doing everything that I wanted to. It’s not a mind-over-matter situation; I still suffer greatly. I still have the disease. I choose to live with the pain, not let it stop me. I know that if I go for a hike in the Rockies, I will be in bed for a week or two recuperating, but damn it, I am going to go on that hike and enjoy every moment. I have been on hot air balloon rides, horseback riding, and even climbed Botticelli’s El Duomo in Florence. It all hurt, but I felt alive. There is a price; I pay it every day. But I lead the dance, not Fibromyalgia.

3) What is one gem that you’ve learned on your journey that you would love to share?