The Essence of Patti and Phil
Patti ~ I am a lively and passionate mother, wife, sister, auntie and friend.
Phil ~ I am an open and friendly father, husband, brother-in-law, son and scout leader!
I met Phil through a mutual connection with Scouts Canada Keith Burgess. Phil and Andrew Obee were amazing scout support people for a Meadowvale group. We were a start-up group that followed two years after one of the best-run groups in Mississauga all left simultaneously. There were no scouts, leaders or even group committee members to use as guides for the transition from Cubs to Scouts. Thanks to the good graces of several people, such as Keith, Maggie, Phil, Ron and Andrew, we could restart a group with three leaders with no experience at that level and eleven first-year scouts.
I became a financial planner around the time. I first met Patti in the basement of Phil’s house. They would become some of my first clients in what now has become one of the most memorable meetings of my career of thirty-two years. We were doing a visioning exercise, and Patti said, “We’re going to buy a small fixer-upper house in a particular area, then Phil and I will wait until we can afford it and renovate it to make it our home. Then I watched it happen over the years – see the photographs of the reno.
It was a very powerful lesson to learn about announcing one's wishes to the universe and watching the power of that thought come to fruition. There have been many more meetings and great discussions.
The Traveler Duo
One legacy I left in the scout troop was the Euchre Tournament, which raised money for the scout camp fund. Phil and his group have carried on with the tradition, and to this day, I still volunteer to help run that event. Phil and the group have taken it to new heights and success. In the thirty years of the tournament, we have raised well over $125,000 for the scout camp fund.
Patti and Phil are part of our extended family. Meet them in their words.
From Concept to Reality
At some time, you reached a fork in the road. At that time, it didn’t feel like it, but looking back, you realize it was a big moment. One that changed your life. Describe yours.
Patti ~ I often come back to this moment 12 years ago. I left my employment on a bitter note and felt disillusioned and betrayed by my boss. It was the start of a crisis for me and my family. While it wasn’t easy, the perspective that a year’s worth of hindsight gave me is incredible. This was God telling me I was needed elsewhere. Four short days later—days I admit were filled with tears, anger, stress, and self-doubt—we found out our mom was terminal and had about a year to live; the treatments weren’t working (damn cancer), and my sister needed support in a significant business transition in her life. In the following eight months, I was able to spend almost every day with my mom, helping her live out her last dreams before she passed. We went cottaging, spent time with her grandbabies whom she adored, went to medical appointments, had fancy coffees, and shopped for silly trinkets—did all the things I generally hadn’t had time for as a working Mom before. Had I still been working; I would have missed these incredibly precious moments.
Additionally, I was able to help my sister significantly during a time that was exciting but stressful for her, which, again, I would never have been able to do had I been working. This time brought us so much closer and gave us both an opportunity to share our professional and personal lives. We learned to appreciate and cherish our different skill sets. Then, after Mom passed (eight short months later), I had time to grieve, time to support my children through their grief, and then, miraculously, found a dream job that gives me so much more self-empowerment and personal fulfillment than I ever thought I could get from a “job.” Thanks to what seemed like a crisis, I was given the gift of time with family, personal and professional growth, and a renewed sense of self-worth and value for my community. I’m so glad I let God guide me or call it what you will; whatever the reason, I needed a kick in the butt to follow the path that is much more fulfilling.
Phil ~ Believe it or not, it was going on a date with a girl a friend had introduced me to. She took me to help a friend move into a new apartment. That day, I met my future wife – nope, not the girl I went on a date with – but her best friend, who was moving! Within 3 months, we were inseparable, married within 18 months, and still going strong 29 years later! Who would have known that by agreeing to help someone move, I would find the person to enjoy life’s remarkable, incredible journey with, the person I want to spend every day with, the person I continue to plan our fantastic, crazy future together with? And yes, for the doubters out there, we are both still incredibly close to the girl I went on a date with, she is a dear friend to us both.
The Chiasson Boys
What has been your biggest challenge, and how did you overcome it?
Patti ~ My biggest challenge has been my lack of self-worth and self-confidence. I see the best in the world around me and believe the best in people – maybe even when they don’t deserve it- but I fought to see my own value. I had the world’s best Mom; she saw the amazing person inside me and never gave up trying to convince me. I have been so fortunate to have people who saw the best in me and always helped me see that until I finally saw it for myself. My darling husband tells me daily that I am beautiful and unique, my sister constantly reminds me of my many powerful traits, and my friends show me their love and support in many ways. I realized one day that if all these truly incredible people love and support me, there must be a reason. My sons gave me many reasons to see the best in myself – if I had these incredible boys, I must have done something right. It’s a process I admit I still fight myself on, but one I am determined to win.
Phil ~ My biggest challenge has likely been finding out I am “suffering” from Multiple Sclerosis and not letting it impact every essence of my life. I grew up with a father who suffered from alcoholism and a mother who suffered from MS as well. I don’t want to “suffer” from this, I need/want to learn to live with it but thrive despite the diagnosis. My wife and sons, extended family, and friends have supported me and ensured that I thrive. They’ve pushed me to change my diet and take better care of myself to live a long and productive life to make our lives better. I’ve learned to appreciate the little things we often take for granted – getting out of bed without thinking about it, climbing a ladder without feeling dizzy, and eating whatever is served without worrying that it will make my symptoms worse. Sure, I worry about how my illness will affect them when I get worse, but I am focusing on how I can make all our lives better right now. It’s been a shift from suffering to thriving, and it’s been important for my mental health and that of the people around me. I am trying to learn from the pitfalls of my parents and avoid falling into the same traps that brought them down. I’m focusing on the positives and setting myself and my family up for the best possible successes – taking every opportunity to thrive.
Left to right: Joshua, Phil, Patti and Alexander
What is one gem you learned on your journey that you would love to share? Alternatively, what hint would you tell a younger version of yourself?
Patti ~ How to put it into one thing – but it comes down to love. Love yourself, love your children, spouse, family, friends, and life. You must start by loving yourself … if you love yourself, you will surround yourself with good people who love you, too. Love your children … no matter what … always love them, and never forget to say it! I tell my husband and children, my sisters and friends – every time I talk to them, I end with “Love ya,” and I don’t mean it idly or without thought – I don’t say it out of habit; I say it because I mean it and I always want them to know it. Never hold back on love – you’ve only got one shot at this life – jump in and love every day wholeheartedly. Why not? No one ever lay on their deathbed saying they wish they’d loved life less or been surrounded by less love. So go out and find happiness in the grey days, find the love worthy of sharing for a lifetime, and surround yourself with people deserving of your love.
Phil ~ Make every day special, and never take love and family for granted. A snuggle in the kitchen while making dinner on a Tuesday can be as unique and romantic as a fancy dinner on her birthday. Not that fancy dinners aren’t necessary, just that sometimes the little daily moments are ultimately even more significant than the big gesture moments. I always tell my kids I love them, especially when I can embarrass them in front of their friends 😉, although they are very open to saying they love me too! My wife must surely know that I love and treasure her, I tell her daily about how important she is to me. Bringing flowers home just randomly brings a huge smile to her face – it makes her realize she is loved and honoured. Every day, I look forward to coming home, no matter the adventures we have away from home; knowing I will feel surrounded by love is essential. Deal with life one day at a time and always find a happy moment each day. It takes work to build a solid foundation of happiness and love, and it’s not all roses and sunshine, but the tough times are manageable when you have all the special memories and moments to support the more challenging times.