The Essence of Tom

Gentle ~ Intrepid ~ Altruistic

Thoughtful ~ Appreciative ~ Commando

Today, June 6, 2024, marks the eightieth anniversary of D-Day, a day of significant historical importance. It’s also the day I am taking on the challenge of capturing the "Essence of Portrait" of my dear friend, Tom Boneham.

I’ve known Tom for nearly twenty years, and he is the epitome of a gentleman. Behind his gentle demeanor lies a rich tapestry of 101 years filled with stories, life lessons, and friendships. While we can’t delve into every story, we’ll focus on some key themes from the "Essence of..." series.

Despite his century on this Earth, Tom has stories worth sharing, especially about his service with the 30 AU Commandos. At eighteen, he enlisted in the army, against his father’s wishes, who had reservations about the navy’s treatment of young recruits. Tom ended up in the Signal Corps, where he mastered Morse Code at 29 words per minute. His skills eventually led him to the 30 Assault Unit Commandos, a prestigious unit founded by Ian Fleming, the creator of James Bond.

Tom saw action in Sicily and was wounded in a friendly fire incident, a fact he remained unaware of for many years post-war (this can be confirmed with Tom).

This story may not align with the question-and-answer format of the "Essence of…" series, but it’s too compelling not to share.

During his return journey on a medical ship, Tom encountered a poignant moment that reflects his character. His bunkmate was a young German prisoner of war, deeply frightened about the treatment he might face from his captors. To offer some comfort, Tom spoke to him about the various destinations he might end up in—England, Canada, or the USA—and assured him that he would be treated kindly.

Despite Tom's efforts to ease his bunkmate's fears, the young man remained anxious, especially when the nurse arrived with pain medication. Noticing the distress on his bunkmate’s face, Tom took the pill from the POW, swallowed it himself, and then handed over his own medication. This act of empathy and kindness is a testament to the Tom I know and cherish.

What’s one regret that you have?

I regret not ever picking and learning a musical instrument.

Looking back on your life, can you recall a moment when you faced a crucial decision at a fork in the road, a choice that significantly altered your journey? What is one such example?

Reflecting on his life, Tom recalls a pivotal moment when he chose a new path. After World War II, he decided to leave England in search of a better life. Australia was his initial choice, but after learning of the long wait time for processing applications at the Australian embassy, he wandered past Canada House on his way home.

The warm reception and swift assistance there convinced him to change course and eventually relocate to Canada. The rest is history.

What would you tell a younger version of yourself?

Don’t be afraid to take a chance; you’ve got to jump at the opportunity when it presents itself.

Can you tell us about any challenges you’ve faced?

I don’t want to dwell on anything medical.

While not a challenge, what could have been a real accommodation issue over time was resolved in an incredible story involving Tom and his neighbour, Christine Grim. The story highlights the power of mutual respect and friendship. Christine’s dog used to sneak under the fence to visit Tom, leading to a delightful friendship between Tom, Christine, and her four-legged companion. Over time, their bond grew stronger.

When Christine decided to sell her house in Mississauga, she made Tom an offer he couldn’t refuse. She would buy a home in Tillsonburg and modify it to include separate quarters for Tom. Tom accepted the offer, and their friendship has flourished ever since.